Hmm

catfasteve:

once there was a man who drove the train for a living. he loved it; it was something he’d wanted to do since he was a little boy. his favourite part was making the train go as fast as possible.

one day, however, because he was going so fast, the train got into an accident. now the man made it out safely but unfortunately, one passenger died. so, the man was put on trial, found guilty, and sentenced to execution. 

the day came when the man was meant to be executed and he requests a banana for his last meal. he ate his banana, sat in the chair, and the executioner flipped the switch. sparks flew, but the man emerged alive. 

now, around this time there was a law that stated if a person were to survive an execution, it was a sign of divine intervention and the prisoner was to be let go. so, the man was released. 

he got his job back as a train driver, and having learned nothing from his previous mistakes, continued on driving the train recklessly. of course, the train soon got into another accident. 

now again, the man was put on trial, found guilty and sentenced to death. and, for his last meal, he requested two bananas. so, he ate his bananas, was strapped into the chair, and the executioner flipped the switch. once again, the man was totally fine, and released. 

now, would you believe that he got his old job back again? our reckless train driver seems to have learned nothing, because he continued to drive the train overly fast and recklessly. of course, he got into an accident for a third time. 

once again the man was put on trial, found guilty, and sentenced to death. 

the day came and he requested his last meal - three bananas. at this point the executioner said, “no, i’m sick of you coming in here, eating your banana and walking out unscathed. let’s just do this.”

 so, without eating his bananas, the man was strapped to the electric chair, the executioner flipped the switch and - the man was completely unharmed. the executioner was dumbfounded. 

“oh, the bananas have nothing to do with it,” the man explained, “i’m just a bad conductor.”